Everlasting Love – It Doesn’t Exist In Food Or Radio, Why Would It Exist In Relationships?

Over the past few weeks, age and change have helped me see how marriages fall apart. And even without letting it, as most people claim happens with marriage. I have two non-relationship relationship examples. And it’s further killed my faith in everlasting love. (This is in no way a dig on those who are happily married. This is simply my perspective on why I don’t think I’ll ever get married.)

First example – a radio show I love. I won’t mention it so as not to say bad things about it. You know why? Because despite no longer being madly in love with the show, I still care about the people who are on the show. (And I don’t even know them, but it feels like it.) For the past five or so years, I listened to them religiously. I loved the show, related to the hosts, or could relate to the hosts as some of my friends. I would listen from the time I got out of bed, and once the show went into repeat on iHeart Radio, I listened at night to the portions of the show I missed. Or I’d download podcasts. I was infatuated. This is the first part of love, right?

As the years went on, I loved them more and more, and a time came where they were off the air for a week. I genuinely felt sad and in withdraw. No, really.

When the show came back on the air, it was mostly the same, but a little different. Could this be similar to a spouse graduating from college, changing careers, losing weight or taking on other new habits after you’re married? That’s what it felt like. And slowly, over the past six or eight months, or however long it’s been, I’ve drifted. I’ve lost that loving feeling. I’ve tried to recapture it a lot of different ways. I’m not totally ready to check out, but it’s definitely not the “soul mate” I once thought it was. I can go weeks without listening to the show, and if I turn on the replay stream in the evenings, I often find myself bored and turning it off to instead watch crap TV on Netflix (which is another love of mine, so not meant as an insult, just a change in priorities). I used to want to travel to meet the hosts of the show. Now I feel like if I were in their city, I’d be like, “Meh. Not sure I care.”

Paula Deen Controversy – Who Cares?

Not that anyone cares, but here’s my simple take on Paula Deen. The Food Network thought she was played out. Partially, probably, because the diabetes scandal had exposed her and drawn ridicule. And partially because, well, that’s what happens in Hollywood and, I guess, America. Stars have a run, but eventually it gets old. Food Network took the opportunity when it arose, and used it as an excuse to dump Paula. I don’t necessarily disagree with this. It’s business. Paula should have said, “I respect that my time at Food Network has lapsed. I apologize for my misconstrued and disrespectful views in the past, and assure you those are not my views now.” And moved on. She has a bajillion dollars. Why does she care what the American public thinks?

But, alas, her reaction and the public’s over-reaction, making it political, as usual, has turned bad into worse. Corporations with Paula Deen lines of products are dumping her publicly. Whereas if she’d kept her composure, sure those endorsements would have dropped, eventually, assuming the demand for her products naturally dropped. But this is a mess.

I grew up in the Midwest with inarguably racist people. But as a child, I have had my share of racial slurs (for many races). Much like it used to be cool to say, “That’s so gay.” You don’t realize it’s hurtful, or if you do, it’s “cool.” As sad as that is. I realized the error of my ways for racism stuff in middle school (decidedly too late), but honestly didn’t stop saying some of the homophobic stuff until later in high school. In that case, I was saying, “That’s so gay” and probably not realizing what I was saying.

Deen is in her 60s or 70s, though. So to imagine her using these racial slurs in her 30s or 40s is a little out of character. Especially since 30 years ago was the 80s. It’s not like it was the 40s or 50s. I realize the south is a different world, but I think that’s why it’s shocking. Deen was well into adulthood, and past the equal rights movements and into the 80s. She should have been doing coke like everyone else.

So, long story short, I think Food Network used this old story to do what they already planned to do. It was convenient. Deen handled it badly (30 years ago and now). And, honestly, what’s the big deal? Deen should take her deep pockets and slink off into the thick air that is the south in the summertime. It’s not like we don’t know what butter is without her. Or don’t know how to google the types of foods she cooks. We can go on without her show, without her pots and pans, and without her drawl. No one was persecuted. And it’s a lot bigger deal than it ever should have been.

Am I right, y’all? 

Texas Wing: The Davis Filibuster

Without taking a side on the issue, I wanted to react to the Texas filibuster last night. First, let me give credit to West Wing for even having a hint of interest in a filibuster. I’d heard the word before, but never knew what it was until I watched the “The Stackhouse Filibuster” episode on season two of West Wing. The show explained what a filibuster was, and played out the story leading to the senator’s decision. In the case on West Wing, the senator didn’t have to stay on topic. And his goal was to delay voting on a bill so he could get an appropriation added (or however you say that). So his goal was to delay long enough that they’d miss the news cycle. Josh said they wanted to hurry up and pass the bill without delay or making it more complex. So, his goal was to delay so they’d consider adding funds to research autism. His goal wasn’t to get the whole thing ignored.

Last night, the democrats (in general) were trying to delay until the end of the session at midnight. The filibuster started around 11AM. I believe one senator, Wendy Davis, talked for the majority of the time (11 hours). Unlike the filibuster on West Wing, where he talked about nothing (for example, he read recipes and parts of books), it appeared Davis had to stay on topic. I tried to read some and it sounds like national versus state filibuster rules are different. It’s also possible filibuster rules have changed since the West Wing episode. Or the West Wing episode wasn’t accurate. My guess it’s the state versus national thing. Anyway, Davis was stopped after eleven hours for not staying on topic.

This is where I learned the word germaneness. Yes, that’s a word. And apparently it’s written in the rules somewhere. I missed the original dropping of this word, so I’m not sure if it was defined to the senators, but I’ve never heard such harsh abuse of a word outside of the word “literally.” I’m not even sure some of the senators were using the word in context. Because, you see, the thing about a filibuster is, it’s just a stall tactic. And it’s boring and annoying. You can feel your life ticking away. You see people in the background holding their heads in annoyance and frustration. You see the “president” fake banging his gavel. You see all kinds of nonsense adults probably shouldn’t be involved in. And you have to wonder, is this what the government intended with a filibuster? Because, it’s dumb.

Listening to grown adults talk very slowly, in circles. I suppose end-of-semester presentations prepared these senators well because that’s the last time I’ve seen such obvious stall tactics for time. Sentences that ramble on, and as the person goes off topic saying, “Stay with me.” It’s hard to stay with anyone who’s speaking in one slow, run-on sentence.

On the other hand, as the clock ticked to midnight and it was apparent the president wanted to push the vote through (but the woman in white who knew all of the rules seemed to be on the other side), it really was exciting. What was going to happen? Could the democrats come up with more crap to talk about?

In the end, a woman senator, whose name I don’t know, said something to the effect of what does a woman senator have to do to get the attention of a male president. On my clock, this was around 11:48PM. This elicited a small amount of clapping that ruptured into applause. I am a little unclear on who was in the room, if it was just senators or if it was citizens. I saw pictures of people standing in line to get in the room, so I have to suspect there were more than senators in the room, based on the applause. The “president” first seemed to bang the gavel in a fake way. Then he actually banged it. Then he got annoyed and at times could be heard saying something to the effect of he was trying to bring the room to order. The secretary was asked to take roll, but that was impossible over the cheers. This went on for a few minutes before it was apparent the democrats weren’t going to yield until after midnight. At one point, the “president” throws his arms up in exasperation and leaves the stage. As midnight draws near (and according to my clock passes), the secretary starts to call roll again. I’m unsure how she could even hear votes. Ultimately, time had elapsed, and the vote was too late.

So, here’s what I don’t get: what’s to stop senators from merely screaming when they don’t want to vote on a bill that won’t go their way? I can understand that you can’t limit the time a person talks about stuff relevant to a bill, because that could, long-term, cause a bill to not be discussed as it should be. But, the screaming? I saw a tweet saying those who scream or otherwise cause the session to be out of order can be jailed for up to forty-eight hours. It was clear there was no way to arrest all of those causing this ruckus in time to meet the midnight deadline. So, ultimately, the filibuster, which had been broken, was carried out by a mob of non-rule-abiding citizens.

I don’t necessarily have a stake in anything that happens in Texas, so I’m not speaking to this bill specifically, but I’m speaking to filibusters in general. Is what happened OK? It seems like something that would happen on Mean Girls (in a high school) and not with elected officials. I cannot believe it’s this hard to make laws. And in a state controlled by republicans, you have to expect the republicans are going to make the rules. Just like states controlled by democrats will be, well, controlled by democrats. If the citizens of Texas don’t like it, don’t elect republican officials. But, the state of Texas elected these officials, so shouldn’t they be allowed to vote on the bill? It’s so weird to me.

Look, I used to flip game boards over when it was clear I was going to lose. But I was like 10 years old. As I’ve grown up, I realize you can’t win everything. For democrats, does it suck to take a step back in time? Sure. For other bills that are going to pass, do those suck for those senators? Yes. But the thing is, this is how a democracy works, right? If you’re going to filibuster a bill, then do it the right way. If this becomes the way things are done, I feel like the government is only going to get more chaotic and even less able to come to amicable agreements. You can’t get everything you want all the time. And in a government where you buy or bribe votes, everything’s already screwed up, anyway. But if the elected officials are going to vote for or against a bill that the minority is pissed about, find a way to talk sense. Or find a way to elect the right officials into office.

You can’t just scream and flip the game board over. That’s not progress. That’s regression. 

Who Needs The Right Fiance When You Have The Right Ring?

I don’t know why I preface my blogs with caveats, because I can never hit all of the, “but what if…” scenarios. In this case, I’m speaking specifically of one event, with one person, and the situation she’s in, and the irony.

I say this because while I’m speaking of one person, I know this CAN BE a phenomenon. And it’s maddening.

That said, let’s do this!

I have a friend who somewhat recently found out her boyfriend was cheating on her. With multiple girls, across multiple occurrences. His excuse? She was being a bitch during that time and he needed someone who wasn’t. So he stuck his dobber in a bunch of randos.

Can we pause to say how disgusting this is, people? I mean, really. One in three people has some type of STD/STI. And many cheaters (and closeted gay men) don’t use condoms because having/using a condom is often a sign of premeditation. If it’s all “in the moment” then it’s not as guilt-causing. And if it’s all in the moment, then who has a condom? This is spontaneity, people! But, I digress.

You’re The Victim You’ve Set Yourself Up To Be – Take Control Of Your LIfe And Stop Whining!

As much as I wish we could all live in the moment spontaneously and not worry about the future, that’s not really the best way to live life unless you’re a hot hippie in the 60s, willing to have lots of unprotected sex with strangers for drugs. Because in your spontaneous moment, that’s all that matters: free love and getting high.

I’d like to clarify a lot of things because my honest posts sometimes get met with defensiveness. This article doesn’t mean I think you can’t:

1. Live in the moment for a night, or a weekend, or vacation. You don’t need to be constantly worrying about the future. Just glance that way occasionally.
2. People who truly aren’t concerned about the future. These people exist. As long as you aren’t simultaneously a victim, go for it, dude. You’ll likely live a lot longer than me (but you’ll probably be working the whole time, and you don’t seem to care – I think you’re crazy).

The people I’m talking to are the self-made victims. The crybabies. Those who want something for nothing. Those who think only of themselves. Those who want everything but don’t want to work hard to get it. Those who don’t understand why they’re never prepared for anything, and think those who are are just lucky or were also given everything they have.

Here’s the thing: Americans want everything, but most don’t want to work for it. Everyone thinks they’re owed something. And those who do the least amount of work want the most. Very few people plan ahead, and most think when they realize something’s there they need, even if they haven’t prepared for it, everyone else that HAS prepared should get out of their way because, “I want it now!”

Want Your Friends To Stop Re-Dating That Horrible Ex? Tell Them To Get Married!

Wanna hear something weird that is probably explained in many a psych lecture across America? But I’ve never been in said lectures, so I find it amusing, if not somewhat frightening.

Back when I was in high school, my sister told me about this girl she worked with who freaked out about her boyfriend and ran up a major highway on-ramp. I’m not sure what she was trying to prove, but to this day, over fifteen years later, our friends still refer to that. And still set that as a marker for crazy in a relationship.

The Greg Brady Effect

OK, before I offend anyone, specifically Barry Williams, I want to preface this by saying I came up with this effect back in high school when the Internet wasn’t really that big of a thing, and I don’t like to insult someone to make my point. That said, I don’t put much stock in looks anyway. It’s strange, but I never have. I mean, I get that people are physically appealing, but I’ve never thought good looks go farther than, well, looks.

However, that doesn’t seem to be true for many people. There are people who only date dark haired girls. Or girls who are under 5’4”. Or guys who are muscular. Or have blue eyes. I suppose it’s probably some weird continuation of the species thing. And I SEE people who are attractive and appreciate it. But I have never dated someone just because they’re good looking. In fact, my biggest pet peeve is when people start dating and the first thing someone asks is “Is he cute?” Why does that matter? Are only popular culture’s definition of good looking people OK to date? I always want to ask if he’s funny. Or is tolerant of different races, religions and sexualities. But that might be weird, too. So I mostly just say, “Tell me about him!”

This weekend I was watching Bridezillas, and a groom-to-be was with this awful, awful girl. His family and friends were telling him to not do it. And instead of giving some weird “she just gets me” thing that most people say he says, “The best thing about her is she’s beautiful.” And then he goes on to say that normally he gets bored with a girl, but even after six months he’s still interested IN HER LOOKS! What?! This guy is getting married because she’s pretty? And she doesn’t even care. She says, “I had a baby, and I still look like THIS!”

What. The. Fuck?

Marathon Bomber: He Hated America – So Why Bury Him Here?

I’m hardly alone on this sentiment, but decided to write up a quick (ok, nothing I write is quick) little diddy about why I feel how I feel about burying the Boston Marathon bomber, what’s-his-name.

First, it’s important to footnote that I know a terrorist is just someone who instills terror. However, in this case, my definition of “terrorist” is the more modern understanding of the word. It’s someone who hates America and kills people to prove his (or her) hate. Sometimes these terrorists do it in the name of Islam, other times in the name of God, other times in the name of “fuck you, I’m crazy.”

Six Reasons I Need Fakebook Anonymous

OK, there’s not really a Fakebook Anonymous. But there should be. Am I right? It’s like 75% of people are annoyed by most or all of the thing, but no one can quit it. I’m one of them. And I’m here writing because I’m on Fakebook hiatus, and I’m jonsing. I don’t even know what for! Do I need to see what someone had for lunch, or that traffic sucks, or another picture of someone’s child (whose parents I really don’t even know)? Hardly anything earth-shattering comes off of the thing, and the fun things, like relationship breakups or nervous breakdowns, are normally hidden or deleted by the time I get there. I never get to see anything juicy. But for those who want a short and sweet list of why you should quit (I’m talking to you, me!)

1. Religion and Politics – Just as these shouldn’t be discussed on first dates, at Thanksgiving dinner, or while drinking, there’s also not much room for either on Fakebook. Everyone thinks they’re right and everyone else is wrong. And everyone looks like idiots. This extends to all of the inane laws people are demanding on Fakebook. Listen, do you REALLY want more government? Oh, you do? Sheesh. See? I’m annoyed already and we’re only on item 1.
2. The Trendy Shit – Whatever’s trendy. Like right now it’s people sharing other people’s unhealthy recipes. That shit annoys me. Seriously? You think a “never fry again!” chicken is a good idea when it’s coated in Ritz crackers and elephant semen? Well, good for you, I guess. But stop cluttering my timeline with recipes that are filled with as many fake foods as Fakebook is with fake people. Gross. And the kicker to this is there’s no way to make it stop other than hiding everything person, or unfriending them. And by the time you hide someone, why not unfriend them? Oh, right, we don’t want to piss off any of our fake friends that we’d never talk to if there weren’t Fakebook. Clever.
3. Games – Not only is there stuff from games and apps cluttering my timeline, but there’s some stupid-ass rule that you have to invite everyone you know to play. I assume this means you get more cows to put in your fake pasture or whatever. I don’t see why you have to bother us people with lives so you can play your inane games.
4. Ads – Yes, Fakebook has done what Fakebook originally said it wouldn’t do. It’s gone to the ads. This is when you know a company has sold its soul. First were those ads on the side. And now there are ads in your timeline selling sex, lies and bullshit. Typical gimmick advertising. It’s sad Fakebook has stooped so low. But not surprising. And beyond that, timelines are filled with psychos selling Herbalife (Listen, I don’t want to drink sugar for energy. I have sugar in my cabinet.), moms with work-at-home dreams selling Mary Kay, those one things that melt wax, over-priced crappy jewelry, etc. Everywhere you turn, someone’s pushing something. And if it’s not on your timeline, it’s in events. Fakebook gives these predators access to so many people, that they use to make money. No, I don’t want to buy a bag from you, or attend your “girls’ night” wine tasting or sex toy party. I can buy wine at the liquor store and sex toys at a sex toy shop. Like a respectable young woman, thank you.
5. You See Everything – You know how you un-liked that company who had misogynistic or elitist statuses? Well, too bad your friend is still following them and likes or comments on everything they post. Because now that shit is still in your timeline. Why do I need to see the crap someone else likes or is commenting on? Do I need to be more of a stalker than I already am? And I definitely don’t want to see the political debate another friend is having with SOMEONE I’VE NEVER MET! Why is this? Well, first of all, some people don’t know how to make their statuses/profiles/timelines secure, so they’re the idiots. But since I can’t control that, why do I care? Why does Fakebook think I care? I don’t. I don’t want to see the drivel strangers are posting. Fuck, I don’t even want to see the drivel my fake-friends are posting!
6. Bragging/Self-Love/Ego-Boosting/Self-Centeredness – Our society has taken on such a me-me-me, ego-stroking, it’s almost like the “Not now, I’m batin’” schtick on Idiocracy. People need their egos stroked endlessly. Don’t get me wrong, I love when I post something I think is funny, or a picture I’ve taken or a project I’ve completed, and people like it. That can be addicting. But timelines are filled with, “I made dinner! Go me!” Or, “I ran five miles. For the tenth time this week!” Or, “I finished school for the semester! I never thought it would end!” Really, do I have to like everything everyone does? What if I don’t care? Should I tell them I finally took a shit after being constipated for five days? That’s pretty successful, too. It’s so weird how much coaxing and esteem-caressing people need. Are we really that lonely, deprived and unsure of ourselves that we need our fake friends that we never talk to in real life to tell us we’re successful, or awesome, or beautiful or funny? I didn’t used to need that. In fact, I think I was happier when I did stuff for ME, not for an audience of mostly-strangers.

And that’s my point. I am NOT happier with Fakebook in my life. I love seeing pictures of friends and family more often than I would if I weren’t connected to them. But do I really need these sorta-friends or friends from the past or friends by extension connected to me? Do I need to see the stuff people I never talked to in high school are doing? Do I need to feel obligated to friend my friend’s friend’s friend that I met this weekend? And that’s the thing. We ARE excited for people we actually care about. And we’re more patient with their political and religious views because we know them. The people we don’t know are like shells of people without a soul.

And that’s what makes it easy for me to want to delete them. I was never REALLY their friend to begin with, anyway. And if I am, I have text. I have a phone. I have email. My REAL friends have other ways to contact me. Sometimes I feel like I’d lose connection with my friends without Fakebook. That’s not true. I’d only lose connection with those I’m not really connected to, and really don’t want to be anyway.

Internet Breeds Crazy Competition

Does anyone thing the Internet brings more harm than good? I mean, sure, information is at our fingertips, and we’re supposedly more connected to people. But are we really? And is the connection a good thing? I mean, with chat rooms came Dateline specials about perverts having easy access to naïve teenagers. With the Internet comes Web MD, to the millionth power. EVERYONE HAS CANCER! You’re constantly connected to work. You have a cell phone, and email, and VPN. You can’t ever disconnect. You’re at home, but your laptop’s connected to work, you’re worried you’re going to miss an email, and you’re constantly texting business connections and taking phone calls. It’s not good for your health, and it’s not good for your family or friends. No one likes being second place to a device. We can’t fall asleep at night because we’re looking at our tablets and phones and laptop screens until the very last second. Half-asleep monitoring stocks, checking on Facebook, or researching. Researching. Researching.

And even worse are people’s inabilities to connect in person. I’m guilty of this. I often don’t understand why my friends, who can text me, call me. Just send me a text! I don’t know why I need to meet with a co-worker in person when we can hash it out over email. Only email tends to lose something in translation. Probably because no one’s able to focus for longer than 15-20 seconds. In fact, I’m surprised you’re still reading this. Are you? Or are you just skimming and hoping to catch the major points?

But beyond all of this is the competition the Internet seems to breed. I’ve never seen such an immature display. And the sad part is, it’s considered normal now. It’s normal to brag about what we’ve built or cooked or bought or done. It’s normal to post self-indulgent pictures of ourselves .These pictures are called “selfies” – although you say “selfie” and I think you’re masturbating, hey, my mind goes there. But I guess it is ego masturbation. I hear some people take twenty or thirty shots of themselves to have just the right one. I had no idea this was a thing. When I was asked to take a picture of a new haircut, I had to take about 20 pictures just to get my face in the picture! But I can see how easy it would be to keep taking and re-taking until you get just the right one. Plus, the stream of “likes” you get when you post a new picture is definitely addicting to some people. They change their profile picture a few times a week. I never understood why until I realized there is a weird sort of satisfaction with the immediate “likes” and attention you get when you post something new. I could post the most terrible picture of myself, and I’d probably get ten likes. Weird.

But that’s not why I’m here. I’m here to talk about competition. Does it seem like the Internet breeds the need to prove you’re the best at everything. The best mom. The best cook. The best fan of a sport or a team. The best at a certain diet. The best at exercise. The best butcher, baker and candlestick maker. Is there, in theory, a best of each thing somewhere? Yes, probably. But it’s also more likely there are millions of equally obsessed/dedicated/passionate people in the world. I always say at work, “You want an average person’s opinion of something? Ask me. I feel like I’m very average in my expectations and opinions.” My co-workers thought this was an insult. I just thought I was being honest. The older I get, though, the more I realize I’m just more empathetic than them. I can look at a new product, or a change in a product, or read a communication and say, “Hey, if I’m Suzie Schmoe over here, this is what she might think.” I don’t have to BE Suzie. But so many people are only capable of thinking about themselves. Their world is narrow and their view is very inward.

The Internet only exacerbates this. It’s not good.

During March Madness, everyone’s out to prove how much they know basketball because their bracket’s right or number one or whatever. Hello, there are sports guys who follow basketball for a living, and they’re missing these things. Beyond that, as the teams are dwindled down to a smaller number, people naturally get excited and jump on bandwagons. And the Internet’s a perfect avenue for everyone to say, “I’ve been there since the start, I’m a better fan.” WHO CARES!?! Just enjoy the ride. You’re not the best fan out there. In fact, it would be hard to define what makes a person the best fan. Does choosing them to win the entire tournament make you a better fan? Does owning a thousand shirts make you a better fan? Having gone to that school? Purchased season tickets? Slept with half the team? How do you define it? And furthermore, who the hell cares? Why are you so self-involved you care to prove you’re better than everyone else? And why’s it a competition?

I’ve been working lately to improve my diet, to find what’s best for me, for my body. Just like snowflakes, bodies are unique and individual. That’s why it’s YOUR body. Do some things work across many people? Sure. Most people are healthier if they eat more fruits and vegetables. But there are people who are allergic to berries, or can’t digest carrots. There are people who are miserable when they try to digest cooked broccoli. Because of the unique nature, and trying to find what’s right for ME, I’ve been doing elimination diets, and trying to get better at eating all real foods. But there’s a lot of blurry gray area. And there are plenty of ways to do what I’ve done in the past “better.” For example, I’ve always eaten beef. It is probably better to eat grass-fed, pastured beef. It’s also good to incorporate organ meats. And to drink bone broth. But in the process of learning these things, I had trouble finding bones from pastured animals. Did that mean I should give up totally on making broth? Some people said yes. But I made so much progress from drinking bone broth from regular old bones – mostly purchased at Asian markets, and none of them were labeled with how the animals were raised. And, for me, learning to make bone broth was the first step. I worked on my recipe and process for months. I researched, and applied and stopped worrying about the little things. Some people said, “Never put non-organic veggies in your broth.” I didn’t worry. I didn’t let them make me feel like a failure. Six months later? I now make my broth with grass-fed, pastured beef bones AND organ meats. Do I eat organ meats, yet? No. I’m not there, yet. But maybe one day I will be. Others would have me feel like a failure for not doing it their way. Or the BEST way. But why can’t I just work my way up to where I’d like to be one day? I get a lot of benefit from the changes I’ve made over the past year and a half. It truly has been a journey.

But everywhere I turn, someone’s telling me I need to change this or that. There are Herbalife peddlers around every corner. Or someone on a diet (that works for them) losing weight faster than me. Why does it have to be a competition? Why can’t I do what’s right for me right now?

I watch mothers compete with one another for the best Halloween, Valentine’s Day or Christmas treats. I know some of them aren’t competing, but others out there make it a competition.

I watch one person post their improved blood pressure, and fifteen others “out-do” him with their even better numbers.

It’s insane. And unhealthy. And for some reason, it’s considered normal and acceptable. It blows my mind.

Look, I’m living my life. And I’m happy with where I am. I’m not competing to marry or have babies first. If either of those things happens, great. If not, there are plenty of other things I can do with my life. I’m not competing to see who loses weight the fastest. I’m happy when others lose. I know it’s hard work, but I’m staying the course of my lifestyle. I’m not competing for chef of the year. I share recipes I think are great or to show what I’m eating when it makes me happy, but I don’t share so someone can say, “Oh, you had meatloaf? Well, we had steak and lobster!” Great. I’m happy for you, but I’m not competing with you. If I post that I finally ran half a mile, I don’t care that someone else ran fifteen. I’m happy they did, but I’m not competing with them. I’m competing with yesterday’s run. Or last week’s farthest distance.

I don’t see why people aren’t happy for each other without trying to outdo. I don’t see why anyone wants to be or thinks they’re the best at anything. There are so many people in the world, do you know how hard it would be to be the best? I wish the internet were used to share knowledge, not push it. I wish it were used to encourage, not discourage progress. I wish it were used to lift others up, not lift yourself up.

The Internet. I blame Al Gore.