You’re The Victim You’ve Set Yourself Up To Be – Take Control Of Your LIfe And Stop Whining!

As much as I wish we could all live in the moment spontaneously and not worry about the future, that’s not really the best way to live life unless you’re a hot hippie in the 60s, willing to have lots of unprotected sex with strangers for drugs. Because in your spontaneous moment, that’s all that matters: free love and getting high.

I’d like to clarify a lot of things because my honest posts sometimes get met with defensiveness. This article doesn’t mean I think you can’t:

1. Live in the moment for a night, or a weekend, or vacation. You don’t need to be constantly worrying about the future. Just glance that way occasionally.
2. People who truly aren’t concerned about the future. These people exist. As long as you aren’t simultaneously a victim, go for it, dude. You’ll likely live a lot longer than me (but you’ll probably be working the whole time, and you don’t seem to care – I think you’re crazy).

The people I’m talking to are the self-made victims. The crybabies. Those who want something for nothing. Those who think only of themselves. Those who want everything but don’t want to work hard to get it. Those who don’t understand why they’re never prepared for anything, and think those who are are just lucky or were also given everything they have.

Here’s the thing: Americans want everything, but most don’t want to work for it. Everyone thinks they’re owed something. And those who do the least amount of work want the most. Very few people plan ahead, and most think when they realize something’s there they need, even if they haven’t prepared for it, everyone else that HAS prepared should get out of their way because, “I want it now!”

Want Your Friends To Stop Re-Dating That Horrible Ex? Tell Them To Get Married!

Wanna hear something weird that is probably explained in many a psych lecture across America? But I’ve never been in said lectures, so I find it amusing, if not somewhat frightening.

Back when I was in high school, my sister told me about this girl she worked with who freaked out about her boyfriend and ran up a major highway on-ramp. I’m not sure what she was trying to prove, but to this day, over fifteen years later, our friends still refer to that. And still set that as a marker for crazy in a relationship.

Six Reasons I Need Fakebook Anonymous

OK, there’s not really a Fakebook Anonymous. But there should be. Am I right? It’s like 75% of people are annoyed by most or all of the thing, but no one can quit it. I’m one of them. And I’m here writing because I’m on Fakebook hiatus, and I’m jonsing. I don’t even know what for! Do I need to see what someone had for lunch, or that traffic sucks, or another picture of someone’s child (whose parents I really don’t even know)? Hardly anything earth-shattering comes off of the thing, and the fun things, like relationship breakups or nervous breakdowns, are normally hidden or deleted by the time I get there. I never get to see anything juicy. But for those who want a short and sweet list of why you should quit (I’m talking to you, me!)

1. Religion and Politics – Just as these shouldn’t be discussed on first dates, at Thanksgiving dinner, or while drinking, there’s also not much room for either on Fakebook. Everyone thinks they’re right and everyone else is wrong. And everyone looks like idiots. This extends to all of the inane laws people are demanding on Fakebook. Listen, do you REALLY want more government? Oh, you do? Sheesh. See? I’m annoyed already and we’re only on item 1.
2. The Trendy Shit – Whatever’s trendy. Like right now it’s people sharing other people’s unhealthy recipes. That shit annoys me. Seriously? You think a “never fry again!” chicken is a good idea when it’s coated in Ritz crackers and elephant semen? Well, good for you, I guess. But stop cluttering my timeline with recipes that are filled with as many fake foods as Fakebook is with fake people. Gross. And the kicker to this is there’s no way to make it stop other than hiding everything person, or unfriending them. And by the time you hide someone, why not unfriend them? Oh, right, we don’t want to piss off any of our fake friends that we’d never talk to if there weren’t Fakebook. Clever.
3. Games – Not only is there stuff from games and apps cluttering my timeline, but there’s some stupid-ass rule that you have to invite everyone you know to play. I assume this means you get more cows to put in your fake pasture or whatever. I don’t see why you have to bother us people with lives so you can play your inane games.
4. Ads – Yes, Fakebook has done what Fakebook originally said it wouldn’t do. It’s gone to the ads. This is when you know a company has sold its soul. First were those ads on the side. And now there are ads in your timeline selling sex, lies and bullshit. Typical gimmick advertising. It’s sad Fakebook has stooped so low. But not surprising. And beyond that, timelines are filled with psychos selling Herbalife (Listen, I don’t want to drink sugar for energy. I have sugar in my cabinet.), moms with work-at-home dreams selling Mary Kay, those one things that melt wax, over-priced crappy jewelry, etc. Everywhere you turn, someone’s pushing something. And if it’s not on your timeline, it’s in events. Fakebook gives these predators access to so many people, that they use to make money. No, I don’t want to buy a bag from you, or attend your “girls’ night” wine tasting or sex toy party. I can buy wine at the liquor store and sex toys at a sex toy shop. Like a respectable young woman, thank you.
5. You See Everything – You know how you un-liked that company who had misogynistic or elitist statuses? Well, too bad your friend is still following them and likes or comments on everything they post. Because now that shit is still in your timeline. Why do I need to see the crap someone else likes or is commenting on? Do I need to be more of a stalker than I already am? And I definitely don’t want to see the political debate another friend is having with SOMEONE I’VE NEVER MET! Why is this? Well, first of all, some people don’t know how to make their statuses/profiles/timelines secure, so they’re the idiots. But since I can’t control that, why do I care? Why does Fakebook think I care? I don’t. I don’t want to see the drivel strangers are posting. Fuck, I don’t even want to see the drivel my fake-friends are posting!
6. Bragging/Self-Love/Ego-Boosting/Self-Centeredness – Our society has taken on such a me-me-me, ego-stroking, it’s almost like the “Not now, I’m batin’” schtick on Idiocracy. People need their egos stroked endlessly. Don’t get me wrong, I love when I post something I think is funny, or a picture I’ve taken or a project I’ve completed, and people like it. That can be addicting. But timelines are filled with, “I made dinner! Go me!” Or, “I ran five miles. For the tenth time this week!” Or, “I finished school for the semester! I never thought it would end!” Really, do I have to like everything everyone does? What if I don’t care? Should I tell them I finally took a shit after being constipated for five days? That’s pretty successful, too. It’s so weird how much coaxing and esteem-caressing people need. Are we really that lonely, deprived and unsure of ourselves that we need our fake friends that we never talk to in real life to tell us we’re successful, or awesome, or beautiful or funny? I didn’t used to need that. In fact, I think I was happier when I did stuff for ME, not for an audience of mostly-strangers.

And that’s my point. I am NOT happier with Fakebook in my life. I love seeing pictures of friends and family more often than I would if I weren’t connected to them. But do I really need these sorta-friends or friends from the past or friends by extension connected to me? Do I need to see the stuff people I never talked to in high school are doing? Do I need to feel obligated to friend my friend’s friend’s friend that I met this weekend? And that’s the thing. We ARE excited for people we actually care about. And we’re more patient with their political and religious views because we know them. The people we don’t know are like shells of people without a soul.

And that’s what makes it easy for me to want to delete them. I was never REALLY their friend to begin with, anyway. And if I am, I have text. I have a phone. I have email. My REAL friends have other ways to contact me. Sometimes I feel like I’d lose connection with my friends without Fakebook. That’s not true. I’d only lose connection with those I’m not really connected to, and really don’t want to be anyway.

Why Emilee Irsik’s Family Owes The Public An Explanation

I’m not sure if anyone kept up with the Emilee Irsik “missing person” case. If not, let me recap it.

First, Emilee approached her parents about visiting Germany because she wanted to do a semester abroad there. Her family said no.

Then, over a two-day school break, Emilee books a week-long trip to Germany. Quietly. No one knew. No friends. Not family. Not even her boyfriend. Bought a ticket with cash. Traveled alone.

Her family didn’t even miss her. Rather, her roommate contacted the school when she didn’t return to class after the break.

Somehow, the family tracked down flight info. Discovered she would return later that week.

She didn’t return.

The family starts bringing the public into the middle of the drama, starting a Facebook group, asking everyone in the world to share and share again and again and again. Seemingly closed off to people who were trying to help, or annoyed by suggestions, but still asking everyone to help “find” Emilee.

When Emilee finally shows up three weeks later, the Facebook group has over 9,000 members, and thousands of others emotionally and actually involved in the case. People who hung flyers in Germany, people who called or reached out for favors, German police, easily over 10,000 people affected.

The irony is someone on Facebook found out Emilee was “back” before the family knew. And once it was confirmed, suddenly this is a private matter. Suddenly it’s no one’s business, when a day earlier, not only was it our business, it was our obligation to share, to hang flyers, to make this our first priority.

First, how does anyone ever learn and grow from these things if families putting on a front of perfection doesn’t share what they’ve learned? This isn’t atypical of American families. We’d rather pretend to be perfect than learn and grow.

It’s also not strange for Americans to be selfish, and assume as long as they got what they want, they owe no one anything else. Nope, you owe those who helped you an explanation. End of story. You don’t want to owe someone? Don’t ask anything of anyone. You want privacy? Don’t go public.

Finally, it’s infuriating all of these people enabling this bullshit. Next time, I won’t help. I won’t pay attention. I won’t care. Each time something like this happens with no explanation, it makes the next, real disappearance have much less credence. We’ll see how much the German police pay attention next time. Or how many people share a missing person group.

And so it goes.

Contraception And Other Health Decisions Are Private

And I don’t mean just for women, I mean for men as well. But since women are the ones who carry a baby, it seems like their contraception and reproductive health choices are on display, for everyone to judge. From politicians to religious zealots. And those same people are in the middle of everything. Judging people. Some with the thin (and not-believable) veil of “saving” someone else from herself, but others just being plain judgmental.

I’m sick of “Christians” judging everyone around them. And furthermore, they want to restrict access to birth control THEN restrict access to abortions? And restrict access to basic healthcare (such as annual exams, including STD and other testing).

Listen, people, humans want to have sex. Humans LIKE to have sex. Have you had sex? Do you do it as a chore? I hope not. Although, many of those preaching are married. So it’s easy for them to say, “Don’t have sex until you’re married.” How many of them actually waited? How many are happily married now and not straying?

We’re one damn judgmental country. And I’m fed up with it. Why don’t we all get out of each others contraception, sexual and personal choices business? Let’s love one another, accept each other, and most of all don’t judge, lest you be judged. I’m pretty sure most of these “holier than thou” people have skeletons in their closets, too. And no, I won’t tell you whether I have, had or will use birth control. I won’t tell you whether I have, had or will have premarital sex. I won’t tell you if I’m gay or straight. I won’t tell you if I go to church on Sunday, believe in God, or think most of those who speak loudest are sinning the most (OK, obviously I do on this last one). The truth is, my personal choices are none of YOUR business. Rather than looking at me and judging me, look at yourself. What areas of your life can you improve? How can you improve the overall good of the world? Until those two things are done, quit casting judgment and negativity on those around you. Because it’s not a good color on you. And I’m pretty sure it’s not getting you any free passes into Heaven.

Selective Viewing: An Open Letter To MTV

AN OPEN LETTER TO MTV:

Attention MTV! Let me tell you the next big thing you need to do. Offer your reality shows with a filter. When you watch the show you can watch the whole thing. Or you can select to watch scenes minus the lame-ass stars who ruin the show. Yes, seriously. I know the show will be shorter. But you’d get back the audience (read: me) on shows like  Jersey Shore. I cannot, cannot, cannot, cannot bare to hear Sammi’s whiny voice or listen to another effed up fight with Ronnie. Cannot do it. Well, I mean, I can’t because I don’t want to punch a hole in my wall. Or my face. So I just don’t watch anymore.

And you know what, MTV? I’m really an AVERAGE viewer. So if I’m giving up on the show because of one screwed up story line that you, for some god forsaken reason, can’t give up, then I’m sure there are millions other who have or will do the same. You can only do so much fast-forwarding. Especially on your buffer-sensitive viewer.

Hey, just throwing it out there. You don’t even have to pay me to put this idea in place. And you know what else? I’d still sit through all of the commercials.

Former Jersey Shore fan,
Disenchanted Girl

Weight Watchers Isn’t A Dude Thing

I’m gonna be tagged an awful person for saying this, but I think it’s soooo un-sexy when a dude is counting Weight Watcher points. SO un-sexy. Do I like a dude who’s healthy and in shape? Absolutely. Who doesn’t? Would I care if they were counting the points in the privacy of their own home? Absolutely not. I’d even date a dude who counted points, calories, etc. But a dude who announces the calorie points of every food he and anyone around him eats? Not sexy.

Hopefully he’s getting laid less than I am.