Archive for May, 2010

Weight Watchers Isn’t A Dude Thing

I’m gonna be tagged an awful person for saying this, but I think it’s soooo un-sexy when a dude is counting Weight Watcher points. SO un-sexy. Do I like a dude who’s healthy and in shape? Absolutely. Who doesn’t? Would I care if they were counting the points in the privacy of their own home? Absolutely not. I’d even date a dude who counted points, calories, etc. But a dude who announces the calorie points of every food he and anyone around him eats? Not sexy.

Hopefully he’s getting laid less than I am.

Life Isn’t A Fairytale

I watched Made of Honor this week. And if you haven’t seen the movie it’s My Best Friend’s Wedding meets… I don’t know… pick a movie where a dude falls in love with the sweet girl he thought he didn’t have feelings for, while simultaneously living a life presuming he was too manly to ever fall in love. What about Ghost of Girlfriends Past? Or How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days?  There are lots of these movies out there. Some of them I like. Others annoy the crap out of me.

This movie annoyed the crap out of me.

Pretty much it’s a dude and a girl. Best friends. He’s a player. She wants to find someone. She watches him be a douche and calls him on it. But they live in harmony for years this way. Then she leaves town and comes back engaged, and he realizes he has feelings for her. OK, of course the movie can’t make it this simple to hate. This dude randomly figured out he had feelings for her while she was out of town meeting her dreamboat. But, still. Come on.

So, he helps her prepare for this wedding while trying to scheme to get her to fall for him. Of course it doesn’t work because she’s the “good girl” who wouldn’t stray. And he’s totally committed to her, and suddenly no longer wants to screw around. In the end she slowly realizes her fiancé isn’t right for her,  while simultaneously realizing her best friend is. He breaks into the wedding. They kiss. And live happily ever after.

Never happens in real life.

Not that movies portray real life. But the realistic ending would be she’d get married and he’d have to live with his regret of not making the right decision sooner. Or she’ll get married too soon and end up divorced, but by the time she’s divorced he’s married to someone else. Or they’ll both be married at the same time, be unhappy with their spouses, and each have two or three kids. Or, she calls off the wedding as soon as he professes his love, they date for a few weeks and realize they were better off friends and the friendship is ruined. These are all realistic. The bullshit of a movie is not.

I had to vent.

Nothingness

Have you ever had those fleeting moments where you think about death? Or, maybe I’m strange for focusing on NOT thinking about death? Well, last night, I got caught in the “what if there’s nothing” spiral. All I could think about is when I die, what if there’s nothing. What would it be like to NOT exist?

Now, don’t get me wrong, I believe in God. But just because I believe in God doesn’t mean that he actually exists. Before you start throwing stones at me, I think this is actually a semi-intelligent thought process. I don’t think it’s normal to just believe. Rather, you work your way through a problem until you actually believe the result. You don’t simply believe because you’re scared of not believing. But I digress.

Anyway, my first thoughts are of nothingness. Of simply ceasing to exist. My second thoughts are, “If I’m thinking I cease to exist, then by standard Christianity thought, then I’m going to Hell for wondering if I’ll cease to exist.” Then I imagine rather than nothingness, if I have to live all of eternity in my own prison.

It’s definitely easier believing in God and assuming I’m a  good enough person to not only not fade into nothingness, but live all of eternity in a good place….

This Video Makes Me Happy

I’m not sure how or why, but this video of Elton and Billy playing Piano Man makes me so happy. I think because they sing with passion. And partially because Elton messes up. Not that I WANT him to mess up but when celebrities make a mistake it makes them less idolic and more relatable. Not only does he mess up and recover, but I love Billy’s reaction.

Anyway, here it is. If you want to avoid Jay Leno (who I don’t like, and not because of stupid Conan O’Brien, I just dislike him), skip forward six seconds.

Enjoy!

Deep Thoughts: Death, Dying and Tornadoes

Lots of drama today regarding tornados, severe weather and the like. Mostly it’s bored weather guys trying to make sure we’re safe by giving us the worst-case scenarios. I suppose this is better than them saying, “Eh, chances are unlikely.” But I digress.

My whole point is all this talk of tornados and the inevitable gloom of our existence made me wonder: When we die, do you think we’ll be tortured with our regrets for an amount of time that directly correlates to the sum of the shitty stuff we’ve done?

Think about that.

Why Are People With Someone They Don’t Fundamentally Like?

Recently I’ve watched some of my friends’ relationships end. Or end and try to restart. Or sit in the “on but barely functioning” position. And it leads me to wonder, why are people dating someone they don’t like? Or contemplating reigniting the flame of their formerly unsuccessful relationship with a person they’ll only actually “like” if that person changes the core of who they are? It’s very complicated to me. My friend claims it’s three things: 1. Sex makes us stupid 2. Pheromones 3. People think they can change someone else. I agree on two of the three (Sorry, Lynds). I think pheromones are hokey, and an excuse for people to do dumb things. Much like alcohol, only more “breezy” and harder to pin down.

I totally agree sex makes us stupid. Actually, the premise we follow is “sex and the prospect of sex makes us do dumb things.” This is something Bobby Bones said once. And I know I sound super-stalkerish when he inspires stuff I write. I promise I’m not creepy. I think the problem is the Bobby Bones Show is probably the only thing that challenges theories and ideas all day. I work in IT, so I don’t think a lot about human interaction. But I digress. One day Bobby said, “Sex and the prospect of having sex makes us do dumb things.” And a light switch turned on. And I suddenly realized why I’d been making bad decisions. Well, I mean, not all of my decisions were bad. And not all can be blamed on this theorem. But I digress.

More after the jump…

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Why Does Biggest Loser Make Me Hungry?

OK, so everyone I know says Biggest Loser makes them hungry. Why? There must be some subliminal hidden message. I don’t like the show. So it’s not because one enjoys the show so much she’s eating. Or because it’s so emotional you want to eat (I find most of the emotion more annoying than sad). And I’m flat out irritated at how short-term minded the show is.  There is no way anyone can maintain such a strict diet or exercise routine for the long haul. Which means, inevitably, most of the contestants will start to gain weight back.

But that’s neither here nor there. I rarely watch the show because I don’t care for it. And now that I realize it makes me hungry I won’t even stop to watch the cattiness or other drama I so love in other reality TV.

If anyone has psychological insight into why this show makes me (and everyone I know) hungry when in theory you’d think it would make you want to diet and exercise, I’m interested!