Stop Lying to Yourself, Others

I’ve had several months where I can sum it up only by saying, “Lying is awful.” People lie. All. The. Time. I’m astounded. Whether they’re lying to themselves, each other, through omission or misleading. It’s all lying. Will I occasionally say, “I’m tired” when I’m pissed off? Yes, but primarily because people don’t respect you when you say, “I’m in a bad mood and don’t want to talk about it.” Hey, if they didn’t ask, I wouldn’t even tell them I’m in a bad mood. Because it’s also my pet peeve when someone randomly throws out there, “I’m SOOOO mad!” And then won’t share the story. If I ask them if they’re upset and they say, “Yes, but I don’t want to talk about it.” I actually respect that. Usually I’ll follow up with, “If you’re ever ready, I’m here.”

But I digress. Because these are hardly the lies I’m talking about.

My point is I’m so fucking sick of lying, liars, and lies. Whether it’s the friend lying to half the group, but being (sort of) honest with the rest, it’s selfish. Is it fair half the group knows and the other doesn’t? No. Especially when you’re having sex in the shower at a party. Ridiculous. And here’s another piece of advice: If you’re having sex in the shower with someone at a party, IT’S NOT FUCKING PRIVATE! So don’t go doing it then act like we’re the assholes for talking about it. If you want it to be private, do it in your own home, at a hotel, in your car on a dirt road. But for fuck’s sake, don’t be hooking up with people at parties and expect it to be private.

I’m also sick of people lying by omission. It’s so insulting. If you’re doing something, own it. Don’t lead me to believe you aren’t. Because when I find out, my respect for you goes down the toilet. Are you welcome to be private about stuff? Sure. But when you come to me bitching about a situation that you’re allegedly a saint in, then I find out you’re actually instigating the source of your misery… That’s low. You’re low.

And last but not least, don’t lie to yourself. Don’t convince yourself something’s OK to do, or that what you’re doing isn’t wrong. You might be able to convince yourself you’re being on the up-and-up. But let me tell you, those of us who aren’t buying your lies to yourself see you as otherwise.

Did you know last week marked “National Tell The Truth Day.” Yup, CNN told me. Look, it’s best to be honest with yourself and everyone around you. Those that matter don’t mind, and those that mind don’t matter. Live it, own it.

And if you’re doing something even your best supporters WOULD mind about, and you think it’s necessary to lie… Maybe you simply shouldn’t be doing it. I dunno, just a thought.

I apologize for the swearing. If you can’t tell, I’m a little fed up.

Seven Signs a Dude’s a Douchebag, And You Shouldn’t Date Him

1. He drinks Red Stripe beer – Sorry, gentleman. If you drink it, no one should date you.
2. He likes techno music – He’s on drugs or just a plain douche. Or both. Deal breaker.
3. He wears pink – I’ve told guys it’s OK to wear pink. And that’s your choice. But I wouldn’t date you.
4. He wears or owns anything Ed Hardy or Hollister – Yup. Douche.
5. He’s involved in a class-action lawsuits – Anyone who’s trying to get money for free? Douchebag.
6. He wears jewelry – Jewelry’s for girls.
7. It takes him longer to get ready than you – He needs to get over himself.

Enough With The Baby Talk!

I’m not sure which is worse: The freaking kids who scream and ruin my day/night wherever I go. Or the annoying, loud parents who talk baby talk to their kids. I hate both. Either way, both are the parents’ problem, obviously. I don’t hate the kids. Just that they’re screaming. Last night, for example, there were two children SCREAMING in a clothing store.  They were on either side of me. Screaming in Spanish. I wanted to pick them up by their little heads and tell them to use their inside voices, but my Spanish is lacking. Every damn store I went in, children were screaming. Seriously? Take your damn kids home, where they aren’t ruining anyone’s life but yours. You deserve it. Obviously you raised them this way.

And the baby talk… Really? Once a child can understand what you say, stop talking to them like they’re idiots. They’re not. In fact, they’re probably smarter than you. And they probably think you’re as annoying as I do. Which is why they aren’t listening.