Posts Tagged ‘Season 2’

Oh, Sammi, You Are A Dumb Bitch

Has anyone seen the deleted scenes from last week’s Jersey Shore episode? I can’t get it to embed, but here’s the URL:

There’s not really anything too intriguing or exciting here. But it pisses me off every time the letter comes up. I cannot understand Sammi. I don’t want to believe a girl can be as stupid as she’s coming across, but I’ve finally conceded she is. She’s not the victim of bad editing. She’s just a dumb bitch.

Listen, Sammi. Your girls are trying to: 1. be good friends by telling you what’s up 2. help you NOT look like a fool 3. save you from STDs. Let me be clear: THEY. ARE. NOT. THE. ENEMY!

They told the truth, and you’re mad at them? FFS. This is why girls need to get a grip on life. Listen, unless they’re in love with the dude, girls rarely ever lie about what a guy’s doing. They aren’t jealous of your jacked up, all we do is lay in bed and fight and whine relationship. They don’t want Ronnie. Hell,  I can’t figure out why YOU want Ronnie. He’s a cokehead. And about 5′ 4″. And jacked up on steroids. And stupid. And has no real personality. And a manipulator. Jesus, NO girl wants him.

And you’re an idiot.

Thank you for your time.


Pauly D and Snooki Need To Smoosh… But First Snooki’s Writing a Book!

I know, I know, I’m endlessly entertained by the random people I follow on Twitter. Namely the J-Shore crowd (minus Sammi and Ronnie – oh and Angelina, but I don’t think anyone counts her anyway). BUT, you can’t seriously tell me there’s not some love under the surface between Pauly D and Snooki. Or, at the very least, that there should be. I also know Snooki has a boyfriend. And Pauly’s probably banging every girl who approaches him (minus the grenades of course) in between DJing, beating up the beat, and GTLing. But last night there was an exchange between Pauly and Snooki on Twitter.

First Snooki was getting razzed about not being Italian. First, am I the only one who doesn’t care what freaking ethnicity she is? The Italians hated been associated with the show and guidos/guidettes, and now they’re finding out they aren’t Italian and they’re pissed? You’d think people who eat that much pasta would be happy. I freaking LOVE pasta and if I had an excuse to eat it every day I wouldn’t be bitching about anything. But I digress.

Anyway, Pauly tells Snooks to shake it off and she says, “haha that’s right pauly!! That’s why I love you my #1 guido.” Pauly re-tweets and says, “<<< THats Y I love my #1 Guidette.”

Come on, people!

OK, maybe it’s a sexual tension thing. I can’t blame them. Once they give in and rock it, the tension will be gone, their friendship will be awkward, and they won’t be able to hook up with whoever comes along. Well, Pauly anyway. So, I respect their decision to not jack up their friendship. But they’re soulies. I’m just sayin’. One of these days they’ll get married on the Jersey Shore. And when they do, I hope they’ll serve pasta!

In other news: Snooki’s trying to get her nickname patented or trademarked or something… All in the name of writing a book. What? I can’t wait! In related news, Pauly D’s getting his name patented for DJing purposes. And The Situation is for douchebaggery purposes. Things are looking up for our J-Shore friends!

Damn, Snooki! GET IT!

Snooki posted a few pics of herself a year ago on her Twitter and first, I have to say, I LOVE Snooki. Not because of how she does or doesn’t look now or before. But I think her personality is hilarious and I love how she’s Snooki in ALL situations. No front, and she doesn’t care if that means she looks silly or idiotic occasionally. I admire that in a person.

BUT! Tonight she posted some those pictures and I think I admire her even more! Why, you might ask? Here’s the problem. Pretty  girls tend to have the most boring personalities (see: Sammi) because they get by on their looks, or how slutty they are (ahem, JWoww). But, Snooki is hilarious. And I by no means think she’s fat now, but check her out a year ago. And she’s professed starting a diet. Two words: POOL SEASON. Or… I guess.. SHORE SEASON! I’ll beat up the beat to that!

Pictures after the jump…

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This Just In: Jersey Shore Shall Henceforth Be Called South Beach Shore

OK, I’m sure the name’s not changing, but the location has been finalized. The cast of Jersey Shore (Season 2) is heading to South Beach in May, staying somewhere off Lincoln Road, whatever that means. What I do want to know is when will the season premiere? I’M READY!

I’m not sure if season 2 will be as good as the original because the cast mates have to be more aware of what they’re doing and how they’re mocked. But, if their attitudes on appearances say anything, it doesn’t sound like self-aware is a word any of them know.

I’m ready to beat up the beat after some GTL! Here’s a fist pump hopin’ Angelina WON’T be there.

Farrah and Pauly D Would Be a Good Couple. Let Me Count The Ways…

Even though the rumor has been debunked, here’s my list of reasons Pauly D and Farrah would be a good couple.

  1. After his run with the Israeli, I’m convinced Pauly likes the drama. Farrah’s for sure drama.
  2. Pauly wants someone hot and slutty. Hello? 16 and pregnant, with a bounced back body! BAM! No grenade here!
  3. Pauly likes tan. Farrah’s tan.
  4. Farrah needs to get away from her literally choke-holding mother. Pauly could make this happen.
  5. For the way he’s treated so many women, Pauly’s karma is setting him up to be with someone with a voice like Farrah’s.
  6. I can see Farrah at The Shore while Sophia stays with Grandma Farrah. It seems like a perfect fit.
  7. Farrah likes douchebags.
  8. They’re both reality show stars. They can relate.
  9. The rumor started somehow. Probably by Farrah. She’s a little delusional. Again, like the Israeli. And Pauly admitted he thinks she’s hot.
  10. She would totally be into GTL.
  11. Farrah would beat up beats, smile fondly and coddle a vodka cranberry while Pauly spins.
  12. She would jump aboard the Pauly D train, straddling him mid-dance/fist pump. Much like JWow.
  13. I don’t see Farrah with blonde hair extensions, but I do see her not showering for several days. Pauly’s style.
  14. I don’t think Farrah could beat up JWow and she might have to. Unless she invites JWow in the bed with them. Which I can see her doing.

Match made in MTV reality TV heaven? I think so. Pound it up in this one, Pauly D!  Smoosh her.

We’re Going Back To Jersey Shore, Bitch!

I know this is way late to post… And I know they’re not going back to The Shore (word is MTV wants to film sooner rather than later so they don’t hit their guido expiration date), but Jersey Shore, Season 2 is official!

Hopefully they don’t bring that bitch Angelina back. Of course, I’d take Angelina over Sammi. I’ve had all I can take of her.

Just bring back Snickers, The Sitch, Pauly and Vinny. That’s all we need! Of course, the people like Sammi and Angelina are the ones who create all the drama. So I’ll watch whatever MTV gives me.