Posts Tagged ‘Pauly D’

Jersey Shore Season 3 – Everything’s The Same

Sammi’s still a bitch. Ronnie’s still a fake-ass punk. The Situation, Pauly and Vinny are still hilarious. Snooki’s still drunk. Jenny’s still angry. And there’s a new girl. Who isn’t afraid to tell Sammi she’s a bitch. Which, in my opinion, is exactly what we need!

Sammi. Is. Awful.

And she’s the reason women are stereotyped as crazy. Listen, boys, she’s irrational, delusional and selfish. Most girls are not this way. She needs a good punch in her face.

In related news, I cannot wait for the grenade whistle!


Pauly D and Snooki Need To Smoosh… But First Snooki’s Writing a Book!

I know, I know, I’m endlessly entertained by the random people I follow on Twitter. Namely the J-Shore crowd (minus Sammi and Ronnie – oh and Angelina, but I don’t think anyone counts her anyway). BUT, you can’t seriously tell me there’s not some love under the surface between Pauly D and Snooki. Or, at the very least, that there should be. I also know Snooki has a boyfriend. And Pauly’s probably banging every girl who approaches him (minus the grenades of course) in between DJing, beating up the beat, and GTLing. But last night there was an exchange between Pauly and Snooki on Twitter.

First Snooki was getting razzed about not being Italian. First, am I the only one who doesn’t care what freaking ethnicity she is? The Italians hated been associated with the show and guidos/guidettes, and now they’re finding out they aren’t Italian and they’re pissed? You’d think people who eat that much pasta would be happy. I freaking LOVE pasta and if I had an excuse to eat it every day I wouldn’t be bitching about anything. But I digress.

Anyway, Pauly tells Snooks to shake it off and she says, “haha that’s right pauly!! That’s why I love you my #1 guido.” Pauly re-tweets and says, “<<< THats Y I love my #1 Guidette.”

Come on, people!

OK, maybe it’s a sexual tension thing. I can’t blame them. Once they give in and rock it, the tension will be gone, their friendship will be awkward, and they won’t be able to hook up with whoever comes along. Well, Pauly anyway. So, I respect their decision to not jack up their friendship. But they’re soulies. I’m just sayin’. One of these days they’ll get married on the Jersey Shore. And when they do, I hope they’ll serve pasta!

In other news: Snooki’s trying to get her nickname patented or trademarked or something… All in the name of writing a book. What? I can’t wait! In related news, Pauly D’s getting his name patented for DJing purposes. And The Situation is for douchebaggery purposes. Things are looking up for our J-Shore friends!

This Just In: Jersey Shore Shall Henceforth Be Called South Beach Shore

OK, I’m sure the name’s not changing, but the location has been finalized. The cast of Jersey Shore (Season 2) is heading to South Beach in May, staying somewhere off Lincoln Road, whatever that means. What I do want to know is when will the season premiere? I’M READY!

I’m not sure if season 2 will be as good as the original because the cast mates have to be more aware of what they’re doing and how they’re mocked. But, if their attitudes on appearances say anything, it doesn’t sound like self-aware is a word any of them know.

I’m ready to beat up the beat after some GTL! Here’s a fist pump hopin’ Angelina WON’T be there.

Snooki, Pauly D and “The Sitch” on Ellen

I’d like to start with an apology. I can’t embed the video because apparently Ellen dislikes the promotion of her show? What’s up with that, Ellen? Unusual. And second, I’m confused that Ellen is pretending she doesn’t know who the Jersey Shore peeps are. She had them on once before playing a trivia game. And I’ve been following the cast pretty closely on Twitter (well, except for Sammi, who I refuse to follow because she’s an annoying bitch (and originally was “that girl” who shared an account with Ronnie – who does that?), and Angelina who, let’s be honest, isn’t part of the cast, although she’s sure trying really hard to be included), so I know they went twice. I guess I digress. Sometimes the hosts play stupid so the audience knows WTF is going on.

Here’s the link to the video:

Here are my thoughts.

  1. Every damn time I see “The Sitch” he gets more and more arrogant, and I want to punch him.
  2. I continue to admire Snooki’s honesty. She’s straight up Snooks, all day. I respect that!
  3. The absurd explanation of GTL was stupid. All the “uh”s and “OK”s were annoying as shit. Shut up, Mike!
  4. “Everyone’s known for their hair or abs.” Hilarious, Ellen! I’d never thought of it that way!
  5. Pauly: “All I’m hoping is it’s someplace warm.” Ellen- “Cause you gotta have your shirts off and stuff like that.” FOR SURE!
  6. Every interview I see I’m always annoyed by how The Situation sits. Why do his damn legs have to be spread so far apart? And don’t say something about his package. I’m already convinced it’s the smallest one on the show. Yes, I’m even considering Ronnie who can’t have much going on, what considering the roid use how Sammi has a bigger pair than him.
  7. Snooki is still talking about finding her “guido juicehead.” Juicehead just means you have big muscles. It doesn’t mean they drink a lot of juice. Thanks for the clarification, Ellen! But, Snooki has a boyfriend? Sooo…. Weird. I can’t remember how her tweets lined up, but it seemed like they just taped this.
  8. I think Ellen had a moment of feeling protective of Snooki. She told Snooks to look for personality first. Somehow I have a feeling no one in Snooki’s life has ever told her that before. I felt bad for her!
  9. And, finally, Ellen gave The Situation the spotlight, which his ego DOES NOT need (I’m sorry, I’m appalled by what an arrogant asshole he is), to display his abs. Although he’s debunked the “I was a stripper in a past life” rumors, you could see the stripper coming out in him during that move. Get it together, Mike. You are a creep. And while your pompous attitude makes good TV, you are humiliating yourself. I feel sorry for you. But, I guess I’m not making $10 Gs an episode, so what’s there to feel sorry for?

So there’s that. Highlight of my day!

Does anyone out there actually like The Situation? I mean, as a human being? Not as an entertainment character. I genuinely like Vinny, Snooki and Pauly. I cannot stand The Situation or Sammi. And Ronnie’s boring as hell, so I”m indifferent on that front.

Snooki’s Dating Pauly D’s Twin Brother

So, after posting my profession of love between Pauly D and Snooki I realize the “Boo” Snooki’s talking about is her boyfriend. What the wha-what? I click on a picture of said “Boo” and he’s very Pauly-tastic. And if it matters, his name’s Emilio Masella. Hey, if Pauly’s not ready for marriage, yet, you can’t blame a girl for finding the next best thing. A girl has needs, too! And neither are really in a “committed” place, anyway. Here are two pictures courtesy of Snooki’s Twitter feed. And below that the original picture of Snooks and Pauly. Hey, she always said she liked juiced out guidos. And that’s what she’s got! Get it, Snickers!

I guess this means the spin off concept, “Snookin’ For Love” is indefinitely on hold. Sigh. I love you Snicks, can’t you give a girl some entertainment and NOT date anyone?

Here’s Snooki with her “Boo.” Making out in sunglasses is, in my opinion, the best way to make out.

Pauly’s twin… Right?

And here’s the original picture from my post regarding Pauly and Snooki being soulies.

Snooki and Pauly D, The Best Candy Bar, Ever?

Am I the only one who thinks Pauly D and Snooki should get together, already? I didn’t see it right away during the show, but I was watching an MTV After Show with Snooki, Pauly D and The Situation. Of course The Situation talked the entire time, because apparently he thinks he has something interesting to say. Note to The Situation: You’re a pretentious bag of douche. Anyway, amidst talking about random things, I noticed Pauly’s body language was looking kind of protective, kind of…. Shall I say, interested? Then after that I re-watched the episode where they put the pickles under Snooki’s bed, and when Pauly said he was bored and wanted to wake Snooki up, then called her his BFF while laying on top of her? Sure, sure, sure, I know. Trust me, I have guy friends who would do the same thing. But, seriously. I think he loves her. They’ll get married some day and have some nougat filled babies. Hopefully! Best. Couple. Ever!

Pauly and Snooki D – Awwww!
(Picture courtesy of Snooki’s Twitter. I know she won’t mind because she loves him!)

Farrah and Pauly D Would Be a Good Couple. Let Me Count The Ways…

Even though the rumor has been debunked, here’s my list of reasons Pauly D and Farrah would be a good couple.

  1. After his run with the Israeli, I’m convinced Pauly likes the drama. Farrah’s for sure drama.
  2. Pauly wants someone hot and slutty. Hello? 16 and pregnant, with a bounced back body! BAM! No grenade here!
  3. Pauly likes tan. Farrah’s tan.
  4. Farrah needs to get away from her literally choke-holding mother. Pauly could make this happen.
  5. For the way he’s treated so many women, Pauly’s karma is setting him up to be with someone with a voice like Farrah’s.
  6. I can see Farrah at The Shore while Sophia stays with Grandma Farrah. It seems like a perfect fit.
  7. Farrah likes douchebags.
  8. They’re both reality show stars. They can relate.
  9. The rumor started somehow. Probably by Farrah. She’s a little delusional. Again, like the Israeli. And Pauly admitted he thinks she’s hot.
  10. She would totally be into GTL.
  11. Farrah would beat up beats, smile fondly and coddle a vodka cranberry while Pauly spins.
  12. She would jump aboard the Pauly D train, straddling him mid-dance/fist pump. Much like JWow.
  13. I don’t see Farrah with blonde hair extensions, but I do see her not showering for several days. Pauly’s style.
  14. I don’t think Farrah could beat up JWow and she might have to. Unless she invites JWow in the bed with them. Which I can see her doing.

Match made in MTV reality TV heaven? I think so. Pound it up in this one, Pauly D!  Smoosh her.