I’m Single – That’s How I Wanna Be

I have had a weekend of feeling super adjusted and satisfied with my life. Mostly I just coast through weekends and don’t pay much attention. Then this weekend I hit a trifecta with a bonus moment.

First, hung out with some single friends Friday. One engaged couple, but the rest single. Had a fantastic time. Sometimes I feel like if I had a boyfriend or husband I’d miss those moments or at least occasionally have to pass. But, instead, we ate, drank and had a great time. Win.

Second, I went to a bachelorette party. I don’t know why, but recently I feel way too old or single for bachelorette parties. I can’t figure out which. Some people say it’s because every day can be like a bachelorette party for a single girl. Or that I’m not cooped up with a husband or kids. But, I have a full time job and take care of a house on my own. It’s not like I’m living in a dorm, or some other weird extended college life. Anyway, recently, I feel so out of place. I don’t need a reason to act wild. Or look for guys to buy drinks. I’m introverted and have my own money for drinks. And the more people I don’t know who are telling me to “have fun,” the more I squeeze back in my shell. Anyway, I mean no disrespect, but I go to bachelorette parties and am thankful to not be a married woman who apparently feels trapped. Or single and desperate. That’s a sweeping generalization, of course. But that’s how I felt and it was a good thing. I would love to meet someone great, but in the interim, I’m still picky, and I’m happy. And don’t feel like I’m missing anything.

Which brings me to item three. I randomly started texting a stranger late this week. Long story, but he started it by accident, and it turned into almost like text dating. It is sad because we probably could have been friends, but he was so desperate and lonely. Recently divorced. And just so needy. Dude, light hearted is the way to go. It made me realize what I don’t want, and made me realize that’s what’s out there and I’m not missing anything. And made me realize this is how many of the girls in item two probably feel. I empathize. But am happy as a bug in a rug. I’ll take what I’ve got going on.

And the nail? There’s this total loser guy I follow on Twitter for the drama. Total loser. Felon, abuser, drug addict, egomaniac, jobless, homeless, broke. And there are girls throwing themselves at him. Begging him for attention. Offering to buy him plane tickets.

It makes me sad for them and the state of the dating pool.

But also makes me thankful for where I am. And I know it sounds all, “Look at me!” I don’t mean it that way. I just mean the relationships you nurture are the strongest ones. And since I’m perpetually single, I’ve learned to enjoy being alone, have learned what I need to be happy, and do it, and have learned to mostly say no thanks to the rest. And finally feel like I’m profiting from making myself a priority. It’s like saving for retirement. It takes a long time to feel like it was worth it, but after awhile, you’re so thankful you started when you did.


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