Des and Brooks – Typical Doomed Relationship
I swore I’d never speak of The Bachelor(ette) again in writing, but I can’t resist. Someone drag my soapbox over here because I need to put all this poop in one generalized group and tell you what’s wrong with people in the dating pool.
People like Des want what they can’t have. The person they like doesn’t like them back, so to make up for it, they love harder. This makes them feel like they’re in love. What’s really happening is over-compensating. In Des’s case, this is compounded by feeling like she’s in a position of power. Don’t get me wrong, falling in love in like seven or nine weeks (or whatever the other sucker whose unrequited love for Des will send him on a spiral next week, and probably in real life as he watched how little she really cared said) is totally unrealistic. But I do think it’s possible in seven or nine weeks to know if you’re not the right fit. Hell, I think it’s possible to know in tow or three dates, honestly. If you don’t feel it you don’t feel it. Anyway, Brooks has always been unsure and distant, less emotionally attached than the others. And Des has always been drawn to this. Why? Who the hell knows, but I see it all the time.
People like Brooks are jerks who can’t do the right thing. It sucks like hell to get broken up with, but it sucks more when the person can’t stick to their uninterested guns and walk away, and not come back. He’ll be back. Maybe because her crying made him feel needed. Maybe because he felt like such a jerk on TV. Maybe because he thought, “Wait, what am I missing?” No matter the reason, people like Brooks are jerks. Not out of ill will, but lack of ability to do what’s in their hearts. They don’t want to “be mean” so they go back, ultimately being more mean than before.
She says he’s the one and she’s in love. Suddenly his attitude changes. So was he scared he was going to get rejected? Hello! That’s the show. Either take a chance or get out. If she’s not worth the risk, you aren’t interested enough.
A tiny part of me thought he was terrified of the overnight. But discussing that is assuming way more than I already am. And… Well, I’m not equipped to go there. But I wanted to note it.
So, here’s what’s going to happen. Des is going to bawl. The other guys are going to find out. Then Brooks will come back and save the day. They’ll ride off into the sunset.
And be broken up by the end of the summer.
It never works. Find someone who’s as interested in you. If they’re not on the same path, you’re not in the right place at the right time. Don’t wait for them. Or pull them along. He said he want prepared now to propose. Fine. But he also said he didn’t think he’d ever be there. Not fine when you want to get hitched and procreate. Let him go.
And no, don’t take one of the other two. If she did, she’d be a Brooks in Des’ clothing.
Simply walk away. Wait for the right one.
Stop forcing it, people. There’s more to life than a relationship or marriage or kids. Wait to have those things with the right person. If you dot, don’t be surprised when the relationship ends up right where it was headed in the first place.
But she will go back. Oh yes she will. And this will explode like a dumpster fire on a hot New Orleans street. And all of America will watch. And most will say, “I told you so.”