Too Pretty To Do Homework?

OK, so I know I’m not the first or only person to comment on this, but let me give you my perspective. As a girl (well, I guess woman), and someone in the “real” world. JCPenney had a shirt in their tweens department that says, “I’m too pretty to do homework so my brother has to do it for me.” Click here for the MSN article. Or search for it. I’m sure plenty of news sources have covered it.

First of all, the shirt’s supposed to be sarcastic. No one gets sarcasm anymore. It’s the downfall of society, really. Can’t we laugh at stuff? Everyone’s so damn serious. It’s boring. Second of all, let’s be honest ladies, it’s true. Your looks can totally get you through life. It’s been proven that better looking people are given more leeway in life. They are regarded more positively and more likely to be trusted. Since they started televising presidential debates (JFK’s election), the elected official has decidedly been the better looking one. It’s a fact of life. And trust me, I watch many men (consciously or otherwise, I’m not placing blame) giving leeway to the prettier girls/ladies/women around here. And many (although definitely not all) of them use it to their advantage. Play stupid and giggly. “Oh she didn’t mean to do that.”

I was raised to be accountable, independent, responsible and take work seriously. And I watch many pretty girls (again, not all!) take the ditzy way out. Look, it’s not cute you can’t lift a box. And it’s not funny you didn’t deposit my paycheck into the right account. And it’s not sweet that you don’t know what a 401(k) is or that STDs exist. Take effing accountability for yourselves, ladies!

But I’m digressing.

My point is, you CAN use your looks to get you a better paying job. Or out of doing work or knowing everything you should know about your job. It’s true. The shirt’s right. Although just because you’re cute when you’re 13 doesn’t mean you will be when you’re 18 or 25 or 55. So you’re latching yourself to a fleeting shooting star. There are many things you can do to keep your appearance up, but there are also lots of things out of your control. So keep that in mind. Smarts and drive lasts forever. OK, not forever. But mostly forever.

And for those girls who don’t even plan on getting a job, your looks will help you here, too. You’re more likely to marry a bajillionaire. And of this, I’m jealous. OK, a little. I’d honestly rather find a guy I truly connect with and am in love with. (Much like Danny and Annie – I’d be in the poorhouse to find “my Danny.”) But I’m 31, haven’t found anyone even worth dating seriously, and am losing hope there’s anyone just right for me. Don’t feel bad for me. I’m happy single. I’m not lonely. In fact, most days I’m wishing there were MORE hours! And weekends are on a whole different needed hours level. But, let’s be real. Do you see a tycoon married to a dumpy girl? Sure, it happens, but those connections are probably more like Danny and Annie than Hef and a Playmate. Probably high school sweethearts.

And when it goes sour because you can be replaced with a younger model? Yep, you got it right, you’ll get alimony or some other divorce settlement. If you had kids, even better!

So that’s the real deal, society. We make this shirt real. Sure it’s sarcastic, but sarcasm comes from truth. And the truth is, if you’re pretty, you have an advantage. Will your brother do your homework because he thinks you’re pretty? Probably not. But society and bosses (i.e. your parents) might make him do extra work because you’re so pretty.

It’s life. Get used to it.

And I’ll be honest. I don’t think I’m bad-looking, but I definitely wouldn’t categorize myself as “hot.” And there are MANY times I’m glad I’m not that hot girl. I’m taken seriously, I’m rarely given the run around (although I have had my moments) and I’m never used as arm candy. I know people respect me at work for me, for my mind, for my work. And I know guys who are interested are interested in me and our connection. There’s some comfort in that. So for all of you girls who aren’t pretty enough to have someone do your homework, it’s not a bad deal. Looks are NOT everything. I have had plenty of interest from guys, and because I’m smart, I am selective! And I’ve made it very far in my job. And don’t spend hours getting ready every morning. It’s not a bad gig!

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