Seven Signs a Dude’s a Douchebag, And You Shouldn’t Date Him

  1. He drinks Red Stripe beer – Sorry, gentleman. If you drink it, no one should date you.
  2. He likes techno music – He’s on drugs or just a plain douche. Or both. Deal breaker.
  3. He wears pink – I’ve told guys it’s OK to wear pink. And that’s your choice. But I wouldn’t date you.
  4. He wears or owns anything Ed Hardy or Hollister – Yup. Douche.
  5. He’s involved in a class-action lawsuits – Anyone who’s trying to get money for free? Douchebag.
  6. He wears jewelry – Jewelry’s for girls.
  7. It takes him longer to get ready than you – He needs to get over himself.
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8 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Kim on July 9, 2010 at 2:06 am

    Hahahah!

    1.) Not sure I know exactly what red stripe beer is… But, I’m pretty sure Rocky would just drink it to try it..
    2.) Also, not sure if I know exactly what techno music is, but I bet Rocky may have one of these songs on his workout list (but I could be completely wrong, I have no idea what kind of music is what).
    3.) I’ve totally tried to get Rocky to wear pink.. I even bought him a pink dress shirt and I don’t think he’s totally opposed to wearing it, the right occassion just hasn’t come along.
    4.) Not sure I really know what either of these are either.. But, if I’m not mistaken, when I see the name Ed Hardy I think of Jon Gosselin for some reason and I sort of think he’s a d.
    5.) Hahaha… Well, technically a wedding ring would be considered jewelery, so I guess that is a good reason a guy shouldn’t be dated.. But, Rocky does have a cross necklace he got from Sister Marie when he got confirmed that he does wear occassionally (under his shirt).
    6.) It used to take Rocky longer to get ready than me.. But now that I can’t fit into anything it definitely takes me way longer to try to over compensate and make my hair look way better when we are going out.

    Reply

    • Well, first, these are general rules of things guys do all the time. Red Stripe beer is definitely a douchey beer. And I have friends who wear Ed Hardy. I just think it’s such a douchey brand. One shirt would maybe be OK, but honestly, because of people like Jon Gosselin and the Jersey shore dudes, you should trash anything Ed Hardy.

      And pink? I could handle one pink shirt every so often. It’s the guys who wear pink and all of those pastel colors all the time. Of course, gay guys are excluded from this. Because, well, we shouldn’t be dating gay guys anyway. In fact, they can do any of this…

      Techno music is that stuff that makes you think you’re in a rave. And like the pink shirts and jewelry, a little is no big deal. But a lot/all the time, is what makes you a douche. I mean, a guy listens to one techno song, or wears one pink shirt you’re not going to think of him when you read this list. The guy who always listens to techno, always wears pink, always has on flashy jewelry (rings, definite douche sign unless it’s a wedding ring, but like you said, the wedding ring is a totally different reason not to date him).

      And I’m talking about the dudes who spend hours on their hair, change their outfits twenty times, spray tan obsessively. The ones who are obsessed with themselves are the ones you want to avoid, because all they care about is themselves. (Much like girls who take hours and hours to get ready, they will only ever care about themselves.)

      Reply

      • Posted by Kim on July 10, 2010 at 12:38 am

        Seriously, I couldn’t even imagine being attracted to someone like that… And I’m not even sure I could see why anyone would want to date someone like that, other than for pure “arm candy” reasons.. Do you actually know someone like that, or is this list from a compilation of people that each have some of these traits?

  2. It’s a compilation of traits. No one in particular. But there are people I can think of with almost every single one. Except the Red Stripe beer.

    Reply

  3. Mat wears a catholic charm thing on a necklace that says to call a priest for last rites or something like that on a chain under his shirt. So, he totally wears jewelry too! 🙂

    I don’t think I’ve ever seen him wear pink…. but I’m absolutely not against a pink button down shirt under a rockin’ sweater vest. 😉

    He definitely gets ready in record time though… 🙂 And I still don’t know what Ed Hardy is, but I don’t think he has any of that.

    Reply

  4. Have you seen Jersey Shore? Ed Hardy is the kind of stuff they wear.

    And the jewelry I’m talking about is flashy stuff. Nothing like that. ESPECIALLY something religious. I’m talking about flashy gold chains. And ESPECIALLY and rings (wedding not included).

    And just because a dude wears one Ed Hardy shirt, or one pink shirt doesn’t mean he’s a douche. And it’s not the clothes or jewelry or class action lawsuits that make him a douche, it’s that he’s a douche that makes him do the stuff. Hey, I don’t make the rules, I simply take notice of them in action.

    And a douche not wearing his rings or not drinking Red Stripe doesn’t make him less of a douche, either…..

    Call me a bitch if you want, people. It’s the truth. And sometimes it hurts. Not trying to judge anyone. Wear what you want. But these are easy ways to eyeball a dude and know to pass. You can’t judge a book by its cover, but I pick out my books all the time based on the cover.

    Reply

  5. Ahaha! Preston doesn’t do any of these thing. Plus for me, no d for me! Ohh, wait, wait, he does take longer than me to get ready. I wonder if this counts because I take 5 minutes. I can’t help it I hate getting ready in the morning, seems like a total waste of time.

    Reply

    • Ready in the morning for work is different than going out. I think it’s those dudes (again like on jersey shore) who spend hours doing their hair. change their shirts ten times.

      Reply

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