Get Outta My Way, I Need To Go Tanning!

Am I the only person on this planet whose life feels most fulfilled when I’m watching Jersey Shore? The show freaking rules my world! I laugh, I cringe, I laugh some more. And when I gain my composure I litter my friends’ Facebook walls with random quotes from the show. Ultimately, I guess part of it is self-fulfilling because at least I’m not 1. These people or 2. The person who’s attracted to them. Sure, they’re nice people, but honestly? Yikes. Their obsession with fitting into a stereotype floors me. Not that I’m so out of the norm, but I don’t feel like I have to act, dress or be a certain way to be me. They have these definitions of guidos and guidettes that drive their personalities. I don’t watch the show because of the drama coming from the conflict with Italian-Americans. I watch it because it is HILARIOUS!

From packing fifty-eight tubes of hair gel, to owning their own tanning booths, to having their moms cut their meat, to having the strangest nicknames I’ve ever heard, it’s all television gold. I love every morsel of it. It makes me want to go out, listen to music, pound my fist and battle on the dance floor. The good news is battling, apparently, is a valid excuse to my boyfriend when I wrap my legs around some dude and dry hump him. You know, because we were just battling. Makes perfect sense to me. Then I’m gonna go home and eat some turkey, and maybe some kielbasa. And after that I’ll jump in the Jacuzzi, pound it up in a girl, and send her back to the streets of the shore. Sounds like a pretty legit night to me.

The most annoying part of the show? That damn duck phone.

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